Mondays. Always Mondays. Like clockwork. Mondays.
You never call in sick on Friday. Why waste a sick day for Friday? When you get right down to it, it doesn’t make much sense to stay home on Friday even if you really are sick. Friday is just one day away from the weekend. Just come to work and make everyone else sick so that the illness can incubate over the weekend and then … well, then it’s Monday and everybody always calls in sick anyway.
You people make me sick, too. But I don’t call in sick. Especially not on Mondays.
Monday is the day of champions. To be successful, you must work on Mondays. I drag myself from the bed everyday to show up and push you around because you need it. I drag myself from the bed even on Mondays because that’s the toughest day of the week to work and I am the toughest one at work. I am a champion.
You, on the other hand, are sick. And yes of course, usually on Mondays.
By the way, I’m switching payday to Mondays.
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Maybe we wouldn’t call in sick on Mondays if we didn’t have some cigar-smoking prick bossing us around trying to convince us that Monday is the Day of Champions. Monday can be fun if you love what you do and are good at what you do, but if you hate your job and are simply hoping for a quick and painless death to end your occupational suffering, than I can totally empathize with someone who calls in sick on Monday.
Perhaps if you can find some way to make your employees enjoy their jobs more, you’ll have more Monday Champions and fewer sick employees.
@DBlock, I need more people like you. Thinkers, doers, occupational sufferers. You’re hired. You start on Monday.
I don’t feel so good. Can I start Tuesday?
People who call in sick on Mondays are the same people who never take a FULL week vacation, but take a million “2 days off her and there” (adding up to way more than the traditional time allowed), and then claim that they “didn’t take a vacation all year”. All these people make me sick! Wake up idoits! You’ve been on vacation all year. Maybe in your next life you can have a job like Diane Sawyer… she’s always on vacation!
I wouldn’t mind the calling in sick on Monday quite so much if you didn’t have the added insult of having to listen to someone put on that bloody whiney voice when they do it. I can’t bear the faux sniffle / cough / bleariness. If you you are ill just say your bloody well ill. Sounding like some hammy actor in a school production of Oliver Twist won’t make it any more believable!