Random: MacBook Pro Failing Trackpad and Keyboard
File your complaint now

My Biggest Complaint About Styrofoam Coolers

Disasters anyway you at look them.

Few things say f:)k the like a styrofoam cooler.

My biggest complaint about styrofoam coolers is that they’re absolute disasters anyway you look at them.

The styrofoam cooler is a quick party fix and that usually means you were lazy and didn’t plan ahead. Nobody ever really relies on the styrofoam cooler to be their permanent cooler because, well … a styrofoam cooler can’t be a permanent cooler. There are no old styrofoam coolers.

The styrofoam cooler is basically a one time shot deal and we know this going in. You run into and grab the cooler, throw the beer and ice in it and head to wherever you’re going.

If the cooler stays together long enough to actually make it to the destination that’s a plus. If the cooler last through the event (and it probably won’t) you’ll never take it home anyway. Just throw it in the trash on the way out of the park or beach and be done with it. Why would you want to keep a styrofoam cooler when you’ve got perfectly good coolers at home?

The true quality of the cooler is another thing altogether. The chances of your cooler lasting long enough to carry your cargo to the destination is about 50%. At some point pieces of styrofoam will flake throughout your car for no apparent reason until you suddenly realize water is leaking all over your back seat from melting ice in the cooler that is escaping through that small crack in the cooler that happened when you ever so gently placed the cooler in the back seat two minutes ago.

The chances of your cooler lasting through the event are only about 10%. Styrofoam coolers usually last long enough to get one or two beers out of them and then somebody leans on it and it shatters into a million environmentally un-friendly pieces.

We usually take this pretty well. We only paid $5.00 for the cooler anyway and, afterall, we’ve had plenty of styrofoam coolers before and … wow, come to think of it, this one probably lasted longer than any of those.

Follow comments via the RSS Feed | Leave a comment

26 Comments

  1. Ricky26, you are so right on! Twenty years ago, they were all over the place! How hilarious it is now for me to see one… ACTUALLY BEING USED!!!! I usually see the all over the highway. I guess it’s because at some point in the ride, the lazy-ass, non-planning loser looks in the back and sees leakage all over the place. Then guess what? He tosses the thing out the window… probably heads to Kmart (not Target, because they don’t sell beer), buys a real cooler, and dashes off to his eventual destination (three hours later).

  2. Wow… we are still using styrofoam coolers from camping trips 12 years ago… seriously…

    Anyway, can’t you recycle them?

  3. How do you recycle a pile of crap like the one in the picture? It’s been blown to smithereens. Thousands of tiny styrofoam pellets are disbursed the moment some fat guy leans on the cooler or someone slightly overloads the cooler and it shatters.

  4. I thought the issue with styrofoam is that it COULD NOT be recycled, EVER, and that long after humans perish, styrofoam lives on to carry the tale of our heritage and how we destroyed Earth and ourselves.

  5. Not only will styrofoam tell the tale of our heritage, it will tell the story of how we couldn’t build a very good cooler.

    Whoever comes after us will wonder how we could build such fantastic buildings and fly through the air with such little minds, but yet build something to keep our beer cold that lasts only 10 minutes until, as said earlier, “the fat guy leans on the cooler”. And yes, that’d be me, thank you very much.

  6. Styrofoam coolers can be recycled if you live in an area that is cold and has feral cats. We live in Michigan and there is a pack of feral cats across the street from us and they always manage to make their way across the street to our neighborhood. I am a bunny hugger and cannot stand the thoughts of those poor babies having no protection from the cold winter months. You can take a styrofoam cooler, line it with a mylar blanket which only costs 2.00, glue the lid to the top, cut a hole in it for the cat to get into and place straw inside. This way the cats have a place to get into when the weather is cold and the mylar blanket will reflect their body heat so they can stay nice and warm. I just made one today for a feral cat that we have in our neighborhood.

  7. And the environmental damage your doing by leaving these frail coolers out in the feral wild is untold. When these things break down and they will and these foam beads they are made of get out there how many fish are you killing, (no not by saving the cats and they eat the fish but by the foam beads getting into the water) . How many birds will eat this stuff and all the other animals. Hell you may even be creating an environment inside this cooler cat keeper when the cfc’s off gas from the foam beads it will create genetic mutations killing cats with great suffering as with most genetic maladies. Or you may create a strain of super cats which will come attack you and eat your eyes out and run a rampage of carnage throughout the world.

    So I beg you don’t save the feral cats kill them before they kill us ALL!!!!

  8. God. My stepdad has had this short, this styrofoam cooler for a billion years. His favorite. He is the only person I have ever seen re-use one. Strange.

  9. The mutant feral cats are coming to eat your eyes out.

  10. Styrofoam coolers are highly reflective and make excellent marijuana hatcheries for the first time grower.

  11. Hello,
    My refrigerated medication comes in (Triangle marked) Recyclable styrofoam container. They di make a good outdoor cat house between a plastic tote (strofoam lines) Or Mylar (Space blanket for insulation. Befor these container are bashed read up on styrofoam. The really bad styrofoam was outlawed awhile circa 1970. Styrofoam keeps getting more green. I live in the EPA Green state of California. Get your cat and dog fixed and take in an abandonded animal during this trying time. More power to Connie and the bunny huggers at least they realize we are all in this together.

  12. Green-Liner worked well for us!

    www.green-liner.com

    323-585-0900

    fully recyclable

  13. Here you will find some options for recycling your styrofoam coolers.
    http://www.epspackaging.org/info.html

  14. First off let me say that those coolers are not made from Styrofoam. Styrofoam is blue, comes in sheets and if used to insulate your home. There is no such thing as a Styrofoam cup..

  15. Another good source of green alternatives to coolers:

  16. Another good source of Styrocooler alternative.

    And they are recyclable.

  17. You are right about those flimsy coolers. Never buy that junk. Instead, hold onto the coolers that come with shipped groceries or medications and reuse them. Those ones are build to last and stand up to quite a lot of abuse.

  18. BTW, this stuff is called expanded polystyrene. not the same as styrofoam at all. Styrofoam just has a notorious (and deserved) bad reputation. polystyrene ain’t so bad and can be recycled…

  19. For those of you who would like to know how some companies actually are recycling styrofoam then this is for you. I used to work for an extremely talented general contractor who began building houses in 2004 out of a material nown as rastra: a cement/styrofoam mix that can be molded into a Honey-comb element that generally comes in two general sizes, (specifacations unknown) that can be set vertically side by side with rebar re-enforcement running through the “honey-combed” network interier and then have concrete poured through the top ports to cmplete a fuuly insulated and re-enforced wall that can then have a roofing frame set on the walls. suposedly the rastra can withstand the test of time of over 500 years.

  20. if you wrap them fully in duct tape they work well.. but nowadays these foam coolers are like $15 bucks! reinforced with duct tape your upwards of $20. just buy a normal one at that point…

  21. here ’s an idea! Why not go to your local thrift store and find a really cool vintage cooler made of aluminum or steel that has sawdust or fiberglass or better yet kapok insulation. I grew up with a steel one…maybe coleman?
    How about we start using the old straw picnic baskets instead of the styro waste and plastic cups from fast food joints? Far more aesthetically pleasing, mindful, and ’stylin’ mon.’

    I have one such 1940’s looking cooler that is very chic and stylish. and green and reusable.

  22. okay kids, you use a styrofoam cooler so when you get too f’d up you can just leave it behind without a real loss. My coolers never break, as long as no one kicks them or anything like that. Lastly f*** the env

  23. Great article. With Memorial Day Weekend just ended and the beaches and parks are littered with cooler after cooler. The more people educate themselves on styrofoam polltution hopefully, we can have more people pick up after themselves.

    Instead of buying Styrofoam, Buy the Recycooler Recyclable Cooler. It replaces stryrofoam and its biodegradeable.

    Check it out.. www.recycooler. com or contact me at 858.336.9899 for more information.. This a great product that replaces what you are complaining about.!

    www.magicpackage.com for more information and my personal blog

  24. I have found a 1x good use for the cooler. I am going to pregame at a concert at Jones Beach for which I am not driving (I am cabbing). So I intend to bring the cooler, drink from it, then dispose of it before entering the ampitheater….otherwise I would never have used this kind of cooler lol.

  25. We rednecks i Texas LOVE Styrofoam Coolers. I still got 5 with Coors, Bud and Old Milwaukee logos on them…these darn things are the best…and I banged my sister last night!

    YEEEHAW!

Leave Your Comment