My Biggest Complaint About Phrases Women Say To Guys That Can Shoot Down Their Ego

I hate it when chicks use the following phrases.

• “You remind me of…”

Man, I despise this one. Seriously, I hate when I’m out with people and they say, “Oh doesn’t he remind you of Greg?” or “My God…he is so similar to Tyson.” You know what? **** Greg and Tyson. Using this phrase on a person essentially reduces them to a God damned simile.

The worst part is when you finally do end up meeting the individual you are being compared to; they are remarkably intolerable and make you want to stab them. No, it does not reflect on you, but more so the ****ty comparing qualities of the person who happens to be labelling you.

I especially hate this phrase’s usage when it’s used by a girl to describe an ex-boyfriend in the context of you. For example, “My ex used to do this thing with his…you kinda reminded me of that.” Listen ladies, we don’t want to be reminded of that rich footballer you were ****ing in second year. We understand he goes yachting in the Baltics, his parents own a condo in Cuba and he speaks Greek fluently despite the fact he was born in Florida, but frankly we don’t care.

How to spin this positively: If you do plan on telling a guy how much he reminds you of someone else, make sure to follow it up with statements like, “but you’re a lot different like..” or “you’re waaaaay better though” or something like that. A little ego stroking never hurt anyone.

• “I’m kind of tired…” (after a date)

Most guys will understand if you’re tired. Hell, if we don’t it’s considered rape most of the time; however if all you ever do is tell us how tired you are and never make the effort to be “not tired” you might want to just tell us straight up what’s in your head, or get checked out by a doctor. Guys hate head games, it’s a known correlation between the amounts of head games a woman plays to the type of crazy bitch she can. The more head games, the crazier the vagina you are dealing with. While at times alluring, this always leads to annoyance and eventual cessation of the relationship, if it even gets that far.

How to spin this positively: Be straight up with your guy. If you really are busy and tired out let the guy know how much he means to you and that you are truthfully just exhausted. Then plan a weekend together where you choose to be with him over anything else. It’ll show him you have thought about him at the very least.

• “We used to have a thing, but we’re just friends now”

Let me explain this as best we can. YOU may be friends with him, but the guy is RARELY ever over you. With guys, it’s rarely ever over. This is especially prevalent when the guy is never an ex to begin with. He’s just that nice guy that is always around. You know giving your girlfriend hugs and playful pokes.

Basically he’s the guy I describe here in this article, who is basically in a war of attrition just waiting for you to mess up. He’s constantly asking her why she’s with you, how he can treat her better, how come she never gave him a chance, giving her inappropriate backrubs…we all know this guy, hell some of us have BEEN this guy, but dislike him all the same.

How to spin this positively: Ladies, to make us more secure about this situation we love hearing stuff like, “this guy has no chance” and “he has got nothing compared to you” and “You’re the best sex I’ve ever had in my life oh my God.” Sure there’s a degree of insecurity involved in it from our part, but only because we care about you. If we didn’t well…let’s just say this sort of thing wouldn’t come up haha.

• “And this guy was chatting me up all night” (or some variation thereof)

One of the most jealousy-inducing phrases women can throw out is this one, and it usually happens when you’re not around, and your girl is on vacation somewhere and they’re recalling the events of a night prior. Ladies, if your man cares about you, you will notice him instantly uncomfortable when you mention this, but he probably won’t say anything because he doesn’t want to be considered a jealous prick. Just keep in mind that a guy likes knowing that he’s on your mind, and not just an afterthought. We’re not exactly asking you to be obsessed with us, but a little extra-curricular recognition is nice from time to time.

How to spin this positively: Tell the guy that you told the dude hitting on you that you have a boyfriend, and see where it goes from there. Look, we know you’re pretty, hell if you weren’t we probably wouldn’t be with you. Naturally guys are going to be all over you, but it’s good to know that you are not embarrassed by the fact that you have boyfriend. If you are, you probably shouldn’t be in a relationship to begin with.