I’m working with at least two or three very aggressive, maybe Narcissistic (I’m not a Doctor) coworker peers. We are all Managers. They all seem to think since I’m the new girl that they can talk down to me like a subordinate, tell me what to do, what not to do and give me attitude when I ask a question. Or ignore me when I ask a question. I know I need to establish boundaries with them and not tolerate the attitudes and singling me out, ignoring my requests and ideas and inquiries about my job, to name a few things. I seem to attract these “Emotional Vampires” who suck the energy out of me because I’m an Emotional Intuitive Empath. I tend to absorb other peoples negative energy and I’m learning how to not do that. I’m learning to either ignore them or stand my ground and tell them exactly what behaviors I will not tolerate. I’m 36 and all of them are younger than me. No biggie, just an observation. I feel like we should all respect one another, and I have sent out an email on that subject a month after I was hired because they were throwing away my personal things and I felt disrespected. One of the good Supervisors actually quit as a result of their mob style bullying behavior. It’s like there is one Leader, the Narcissist, and the rest of the girls are too afraid to stand up to her so they give in and behave just like her to keep the peace. But it’s not at all peaceful for me. I enjoy my work when I’m not working with one certain girl, and I enjoy working when there is a certain male Supervisor because he breaks the ice and has a positive attitude. Finding another job is an option, and I was told by my counselor that it’s good to always be looking for a better job opportunity. So I’m doing that, passively right now because I don’t want to take for granted the job I DO have. I’m very grateful for the position I was offered and I know in my heart I’ve gone above and beyond to help other offices and higher-ups, and volunteered for extra hours every week/weekend for our IT guy. One of the other female Supes feels threatened when I work extra hours and she isn’t able to for whatever reason. I brought it to her attention and she denies feeling threatened. I told her it’s okay if she feels that way- feelings are feelings and I’m not mad about that. Just don’t take your insecurities out on me please. I’m trying here! Any thoughts?
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This is a hard one. I have learned to minimize talking to people who just want to create drama in the work place. I would probably just do your job and talk to these people at least as possible. I would also recommend sticking it out because since you mention they are a bit younger than you, maybe they will not be there forever. If you make a reputation for yourself as a hardworker and a go to person, maybe you can even win them over eventually. Also, when you have questions I would go to the person above all of them. There must be someone above all of them you can go to for questions.
J on November 21st, 2011 at 9:01 am | Link
You could perhaps go back to university and study to becoming a doctor? Your writing sounds like you are quite intelligant and this would be easily within your grasp.
John Connor on December 17th, 2011 at 1:30 am | Link