Im 19 in college and I pretty much have no friends here. It took me 3 years to make a single “good” friend in high school, and luckily he was popular and invited me to go out to places with more people and I finally started making more friends.
Now, in college, my only “friend” is my roommate, who, just like me, is a shut-in and doesnt go out at all. I have people I talk to in class, but never out of class or at lunch or anything like that.
I dont mind staying in my room most nights, playing halo and other video games, but sometimes i just become so depressed that this is what I do so often. I dont know how to make real friends and Im afraid its going to take 3 more years, and by then Ill be at a graduate school and have to start all over.
I know Im shy, but Im a nice person. I just dont know how to make a friend.
Subscribe to anyone
Find a person that you’re likely to see again (ie. someone in your classes or in your dorm) who appeals to you and also seems somewhat shy (or at least not your social opposite). Ask to borrow something (a book, iPod earplugs, a pencil, whatever). Explain briefly why you need it and when you’ll bring it back, and say thanks. Now you have a built-in reason to see that person again the next day or that evening. Find something you share to talk about (a class, the amount of homework, the professor’s lousy jokes). Or ask for advice (where’s a cheap place to eat just off campus? etc etc). Get a sense of that person’s comfort level making small talk with you. Practice. Ask people about themselves, have a few self-deprecating jokes ready, and when you see them again in passing, smile and acknowledge them. Good luck!
Melody Rich on October 5th, 2009 at 10:08 am | Link
it only gets harder as you get older. I don’t have any problems getting along with people for a short amount of time. but I never really try to be a “friend” with anyone since high school.
I know and talk to a bunch of people but I don’t consider them a close friend.
also…meeting women becomes harder. or at least ones that don’t have too many strings/baggage or working on her 3rd divorce. LOL.
most adults ultimately end up being friends with family members or people from work. or if they still talk to the people they were friends with from childhood/ high school. which is actually rare from what I’ve always seen.
my advise, you’re young…better get out there and enjoy/ make the best of it. it only gets harder and more boring.
find a hobby that allows you to meet new people. I got into racing/riding motorcycles and now that’s about the only friends I frequently spend time around.
Try joining a campus organization (they’re not all about partying and binge drinking) or volunteering at a community agency. You mentioned graduate school; if you know what field you’re interested in, you should find out if there is a departmental student group affiliated with that organization. If you are studying a foreign language, often the instructor will know of conversation groups where people practice the new language. Good luck!