… It’s convenient for her, even if I am working!
It’s just one of those things that has to be done, even if it throws my work off track. But here I am preparing a presentation for tomorrow and she wants to talk philosophy.
… It’s convenient for her, even if I am working!
It’s just one of those things that has to be done, even if it throws my work off track. But here I am preparing a presentation for tomorrow and she wants to talk philosophy.
anyone's other complaints, comments
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iPhone release party - breadline style.
the problem isn’t your girlfriend calling, loved ones should feel free to call anytime. the problem is in your apparent reticence in simply saying, “sorry, baby, can’t talk now, call you back as soon as i can. bye”
Perhaps your inability to put your foot down and cut her off at previous times has taught her that she has this power over you when she may have little or no power over you in other situations. Naturally she will flex this power to exploit your weakness when it comes to choosing work over her when you’re clearly at work.
So, maybe you don’t say anything because you’ll feel like you’re being rude, or she’ll think you’re being rude. If I’m correct and she’s purposely taking advantage of you in this situation, she’s the one that’s being rude.
Does she work? Is she calling you from her job or is she sitting on her butt at home thinking up things to talk about?
Regardless, your time at work is your time at work. Anything that distracts you or hinders your performance needs to be dealt with in a tactful manner. A woman wants a man who is confident in himself, and so it should only please her if you stick up for yourself and tell her that you’re busy making money.
Yes, that’s precisely it. My inability to put my foot down and let her know who wear the knickers in this relationship!
It would be good if she were the docile kind of female companion who just shuts up and puts up when I don’t want to take time out to talk with her, but I have this daft tendency to get involved with women who speak their minds and who have this idea that relationships are somehow on an equal footing, as distinct from the relationship where the guy works to support the woman and she does things on his terms. So it’s probably also my fault that I work odd hours, at home, and am likely as not to be working when she calls. (But at least she’s doing the calling!)
If you haven’t cottoned to it by now, this is all tongue-in-cheek. It seemed to me that My Biggest Complaint would be a great venue for making offhand remarks about relationships. Little did I know that it’s also a great place for agony aunt advice! w00t! tx dudes/dudettes!
dp on August 6th, 2007 at 9:54 am | Link
Well, doggy, I take relationship stories deeply to heart because I find it amazing that people will stick in a relationship that is going foul without trying to repair it.
Your short story doesn’t tell me that your relationship is doing bad, you only complained about one small thing, but it struck a chord with me. I have very strong opinions about guys and girls interacting in any way. I simply had to speak up about this though because it deals with something that governs any interaction with absolutely any person you meet throughout your life. Dominant/Submissive. You’re either in control of the situation, or you’re at the will of the controller.
It’s cool if you don’t dig what I have to say, but i hope you understand, any complaint on this site will have comments. And lots of us are standing on our soapboxes when we comment. It’s the internet, everyone has huge balls.
But back to this complaint. It’s not who wears the “knickers” in the relationship, but whether or not you value your time at work enough to stand up for yourself. Perhaps you do have the knickers on most of the time and that’s why you’re not complaining about how she always has to be on top in bed, or that annoying habit of hers to do you with a strap-on while you suck your thumb.
Complaining is fine, and of course encouraged, but be aware that there’s a solution to your problem.
@DBlock, easy mate, I think something might have been lost in the translation from English to American (yes, there is a diff). dp seems to be complementing the advice he’s getting here. Agony Aunt is the Brit equivalent of Dear Abbey in the States.
/holstersweapon
“oh.”
Ta Jack, it’s nice to be understood once in a while….
dp on August 15th, 2007 at 10:32 am | Link