My Biggest Complaint About Language Morons

To all you feckin’ language morons out there. Yes, I’m talkin’ to YOU.

Although utterly ignorant of anything remotely resembling the linguistic science behind language standards, you rant, bubble and witter yourselves into a pointless froth when exposed to the most innocuous and perfectly standard regional differences in spelling, pronunciation, grammar usage, what have you.

My instructions to you are as follows:

1. Pull your collective head out of your ass/arse.

2. Look up “prescriptivism”, maybe on en.wikipedia.org (if the idea of looking something up on that website doesn’t send you into further paroxysms).

3. Get a hobby - specifically, a hobby other than working yourself up into a fury over things about which you know nothing. How about …oh, I don’t know…crochet, or masturbation, or fox hunting?

With all due respect (i.e. none),

Anonymous And Fed Up