At the time I was having major issues at home (abuse) and ended up being kicked out on my 17th birthday and had to live with my aunt who lived in a less affluent part of town. Still, my ‘friend’ played the ’she is purposely outshining me’ card. She convinced loads of people I did it on purpose. At the same time she become obsessively attention grabbing. Getting drunk at parties and doing crazy things, being loud, declaring herself as ‘wacky’ etc. She would always somehow intervene when she knew a guy liked me, by telling him lies or telling me he didn’t like me. I generally found out by talking to him or a friend later on.

If I did outshine her, it wasn’t on purpose. I studied hard. I exercised. I style my hair. I saved money from my part time job and bought nice clothes. All of this irritated her. Luckily, I made new friends who thought she was an abomination and not worthy of my time. She was aware of this so then told everyone how I’d dumped her as a friend. We barely spoke once we graduated.

Fast forward a few years, we get back in touch. She had a boyfriend and was engaged. She wanted me at the wedding, bizarrely. She then insisted on me coming on the hen do. I went and took lots of photos. I used to work as a writer and photographer, so photography is a bit of a specialty. I edited the photos, spent ages doing it. It was basically like a gift to her. The pictures were nice, funny etc. All her friends went crazy over them. But not my friend. She went all quiet. Not a single positive word came forth. She won’t respond to any emails. The wedding is in a few months and we’ve already booked the 2 nights accommodation and travel.

I know she sees the photos as showing off, but it really wasn’t. After the wedding, I’m decreasing contact. It’s not worth the hassle and stomach ulcers. I have so many friends who don’t see me as a big show off or get all jealous.

We all feel jealous and insecure sometimes. It is a natural part of life. But it can be a very destructive emotion if it isn’t taken care of.

I’ve been jealous of other people and other people have been jealous of me.

My cousin is older than me by one year. She is considered beautiful by most people. She is loved by everyone because of her looks. She has traveled around the world. She is very privileged in many ways. Our family has always treated her much better than they treat me.

I’m not “jealous” of her, but I wish that I had some of the things she has been blessed with. It would be nice to have people telling me how gorgeous I am on a daily basis, because that is what happens to her. She has a billion friends on Facebook who act like sycophants. They constantly tell her how beautiful, hot, sexy, and brilliant she is.

I’m not jealous of her, though, because I know that I’m a better person than she is. I have inner beauty. I’m smart, talented, and creative. I’m kind. I’ve been through real obstacles and painful struggles in my life. She has none of these qualities because she doesn’t know what it is like to suffer. She has only ever had one real problem in her life and it’s relatively minor. Being a pretty girl has carried her very far in life, because she doesn’t have a good attitude or brains. All she cares about is looking “hot” and showing off her body and receiving compliments.

Sometimes when people seem to be jealous of you, they are hurting inside. I have my share of insecurities and I wish my life could be better, but I’m not unkind to people who are more fortunate or less fortunate than me. I’m happy for people who actually deserve to be successful and living joyful lives.

The only time I get annoyed is when somebody assumes that I’m jealous of them when the truth is that I simply dislike them. There is a difference between being jealous and not liking a person because of their attitude.

I had a friend whose personality changed when she went off to university. She started acting like a completely different person, as if she were better than me because she was attending a better school. When I called her out on it, she accused me of being jealous of her achievements. Nope…I wasn’t jealous. I was just sick of her attitude. She was being obnoxious. She was putting me down and insulting me constantly. A real friend wouldn’t do that.

Very true! I have come across this a lot in people who are like this and not just friends too; it can be family, work colleagues and neighbours. I think it is the curse of modern society. I’ve had so many people like this in my life and what I tend to do is gradually over time is to sever contact or see them less, as you don’t need these kinds in your life. When people are only around when something is going wrong that is called ‘Schadenfreude.’ Sometimes we see people for what they really are when either something good happens to us or when we are in a crisis.

@Hobo Oh yes I’ve been through exactly the same as you. Once with my childhood friend and the other with a work colleague. The work colleague was the funniest. I went vegetarian for five years and she became vegetarian after about a year or so. Then when I said I went back eating meat, she went back eating meat. I had quite a few piercings in my ears so she started to get more. Firstly, it’s envy and secondly these people can’t think for themselves they have no sense of identity. I know it’s annoying but just laugh to yourself at how pathetic these people are.