With Christmas one week away I thought I would examine just why these techno gadgets have us hopelessly in debt and completely out of our minds. I have been searching high and low for the answer to this problem and I just figured it out today.
Next time you go to a Starbucks, look around and see how many four-eyed, skinny, twirpy looking jackasses you see gulping that low-grade goat pee down. You know why computers, ipods, tvs, and cell phones are outdated 6 months after you buy them? It’s cause these idiots do nothing but drink coffee so they never sleep which gives them a full 24 hours to tinker with these little toys. A couple years ago I got my girlfriend a new cell phone. At the time it was right near the top in capabilities. A mere 3 months later, it was the most archaic thing on the market!
And how old is the ipod? Four years maybe? And already there are five distinct different versions of the damn thing. There are the three versions that just play music, one that plays videos, and now one that plays games. I guess the next one just plays porn and vibrates as it lays in your lap. Might even come with a small window wiper, too. How do these dorky technards get away with it? Cause we are too stupid, gullible, and impressed to just say no to the attachments. We have to get it all to keep up with our friends so we’re not being gossiped about how cheap and poor we are compared to them. I don’t have a new computer, a new cell phone, or an ipod. Yet I seem to be functioning every bit as well if not better than the twits that have the gizmos at their fingertips. I guess my slightly weaker connection to technology has allowed me to keep a stronger grip on something I like to call REALITY!
By the way, as a sidenote I just want to say that I’m a Christian by faith so I say Merry Christmas. Just like I expect a Jew to wish me Happy Chanauka. I hope I spelled that right sorry if I messed it up. And I expect the atheists to say nothing cause they’re just empty, bitter, faithless people with no hope anyway so screw ‘em. So, take your silly happy holidays and winter solstices and shove it.
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Noob.
u-turn king on December 18th, 2008 at 4:12 pm | Link
OMFG! This guy is the least 1337 person ever to utilize the internet. You sound like my ****ing grandma… Hahahahahahahahaha…. What a life you must lead. You’re the kind of person who glares at people walking around with a bluetooth earpiece in and thinks, “That earpiece is so dumb, why would anyone need/want that?” I happen to be the type of nerd to look your poor, primitive ass right in the eyes and think, “Look at this poor, poor, person who will never grasp the amazingness that is technology.” Most of the people you bash in your rant (nerds, geeks, anyone who isn’t a follower of an abrahamic god apparently) don’t buy tech to impress eachother by the newness of the tech, but more for it’s practicalities and conveniences. Somewhere along the lines in your life you apparently got a little butthurt by someone a little more tech savvy than yourself and you never let the grudge go. HAHAHAHA ROFL!!! You’ve got me on a ROFLcopter flight, non-stop to ROFL Island! Thanks for the laugh n00b. I’ll be sure to throw some pennies at your irrelevant, poor, forgettable, christian face if I ever see it; considering your archaic ideologies you’d probably save that worthless copper. Oh and be sure to smile when you’re on your poor hands and knees picking up all those pennies I hit you in the face with, I want to take a really good picture of you on my kick ass cell and email it to your mom so she can restt assured that you don’t have money woes, loser. Hahahah…. I bet you still pay for cable, or even worse: use phyisical mail to pay bills and whatnot! OMFGROFLCOPTERLOLLERSKATES!!!!
Meat on December 22nd, 2008 at 8:58 pm | Link
Hey “Meat”, why don’t you grow up. Oh and your typing is obsolete ‘cuz it’s more than a week old.
nomore on March 8th, 2009 at 12:17 pm | Link
What the ****. Sorry if I don’t no what defines an athiest but just because they don’t believe they are empty and bitter. I don’t believe in any theory of how the universe originated and I am three times as happy as some people. I don’t believe in god heaven or hell and i’m not afraid of hell after only an hour of pain it doesn’t hurt anymore. The thing i am bitter about is that christianity is holding everyone back.
And i forgot to say that the rest of the post I completely agree with.
I think the poster here needs to separate his complaints. Just seems angry at life altogether. I have a generations old mobile phone, but I’m a web developer for a living. Point is, you buy what suits your needs. Don’t concern yourself with what everybody else has. When you’re 30, and you’ve got your bills essentially paid for, while they’re drowning in debt with no clue as to how to get out of it, you’ll be the better for it.
Or maybe some of them will use that tech to get ahead in the world. Really, it’s just getting the things you need and using them to make your situation better.
Sub1ime14 on July 29th, 2009 at 7:15 am | Link