So this guy I’ve always really liked has been talking to me a lot more recently and he keeps dropping these little romantic hints, like “You should come stay with me for a weekend” or “I’ve been working out a lot lately” or “I would never mean to hurt you.” And then he falls off the face of the earth, only to reappear with more of the same.
So, if you would never mean to hurt me, why do you disappear?
Do you not recognize that I have feelings for you? Are guys really that blind? I GIVE YOU OPENINGS. “He’s Just Not That Into You” I’m sure wants to tell me just that, that he just isn’t interested in me romantically. Which I could come to terms with, if it weren’t for the fact that he manages to reappear when I finally think I’m over him.
Seriously, men, you need to get your **** in check. You think women play games and lead YOU on? Take a look at yourselves.
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Ha! lol ok well first of all let me get into the real issue that im sure is underlying this problem, your judgement and choice of men, if you constantly complain about men, then the complain is of the men you date, the truth is that men and women are close to equal and number of ****ty ones and good ones, neither sex has a better sense of ethics than the other.
a man that says “hey baby ive been working out” is a looser, if he says come over to my place, he wants sex, and hell theres nothing wrong with that, its that you jump to the assumption that he wants to marry you. if you are looking for a life partner stop responding to the cheesy ass lines.
Pick your men based on can they hold a job, do they treat other people well but at the same time not let people run over them, are the respectable (not a drug addict, thug, redneck, covered in tatoos, or any other type of stupid kid) Dont expect them to be able to keep you on an emotional roller coaster, just be happy watching the tube with them sometimes etc, Dont try to make them jealous, Trust them over time as they start to prove they can be trusted, and give them a reason to trust you, dont go acting sneaky even if you havent done anything just to push their buttons.
Follow this advice and you can find someone decent, and dont expect this person to have things or be something that you yourself are not
Ash Miller on October 23rd, 2008 at 8:57 am | Link
Have you tried telling him directly that you like him? Hints don’t work. Trust me. Quit being a **** and jump on him rather than blaming him for the whole situation.
meh on November 3rd, 2008 at 12:30 pm | Link
OMG exactly same situation I’m currently in…basically I have figured out that the guy just wants to have sex with you but is also talking to other girls and doesn’t want anything serious. At least in my case.
Melanie on November 3rd, 2008 at 12:31 pm | Link
Listen to Ash. She speaketh the truth.
a guy on November 3rd, 2008 at 2:10 pm | Link
“I would never mean to hurt you” is just something we say. It’s basically true - people don’t often intentionally try to hurt others, and not at all when there’s not already some kind of rivalry, but you should never read into it enough to consider him going back on his word by ignoring you.
Depending on the kind of guy he is, I’m inclined to agree with you that he’s dropping hints. But he’ll also move on if nothing comes of it, and you never explained what kind of hints you’re reciprocating with. Hints are annoying. Yes, guys can be “that blind”, and even if they can’t, they can certainly be that impatient. If he’s waiting for you to make yourself clearer, he won’t wait for ever.
Bottom line is, whether this is his fault or not, it’s still in your hands. Either make a move, or move on.
Benjamin on November 3rd, 2008 at 2:10 pm | Link
“You should come stay with me for a weekend”
“I’ve been working out a lot lately”
Are you kidding me? What the heck makes you think this guy is interested in anything other than sex? He probably has VD and all of the smart gals are on to him. GROW UP!
roc on November 3rd, 2008 at 2:14 pm | Link
For females, “He’s Just Not That Into You” is a piece of garbage. And for males, the seduction community, Neil Strauss, David DeAngelo, and fastseduction.com are equally trash. While these methods do work for both genders, I don’t view any of them as ethical.
As a guy, I stopped playing games like this long ago. If women want a fling or a long-term relationship with me, then I expect them to communicate it clearly. I gave up on trying to analyze whether a sentence means something or whether flipping hair is an “indicator of interest” or whatever. If I had been the guy you’re describing in this complaint, I would have “disappeared” too (except I wouldn’t have come back and asked again).
I assume friendship unless explicitly asked, and when expressing interest, I only ask once. There are enough other things to worry about in life, and if one person says no, you get over it in a day or two.
The only solution to your problem is to talk to him clearly and communicate what you’re looking for outright.
Steve on November 3rd, 2008 at 2:32 pm | Link
1st of the problem lies with you I think. You know the expression, “Closed mouths don’t get fed?” If you know he is into you and you are into him, then why not talk about it or hell at least make a move? Maybe he disappears because you don’t make it as 100% clear as he is. How does he know it hurts you when you haven’t even let him know your interested? Obviously you want this dude even if it is just as a booty call. Your a grown a** woman, he’s a grown a** man so speak up.
Robert G. on November 3rd, 2008 at 3:22 pm | Link
He probably found out you are fat, but he still wants to get laid.
Joe on November 3rd, 2008 at 4:41 pm | Link
Joe with the hard hitting truths
JakBnembl on November 3rd, 2008 at 5:26 pm | Link