My Biggest Complaint About Electric Votive Church Candles

I’m all for fire safety. But electric church candles?

I’ve been dropping coins in the slots at churches for years and praying for all your sorry asses. I pay my quarter (dollar in NYC) light a candle and feel better. Lighting the candle is a win-win: the church gets money, you get my prayers, and I have my inner-pyro satisfied.

And now my church goes and gets electric candles. I can’t even tell which candles I’m lighting. I have to stare at the set for a few seconds to get a visual reference grid of lit candles and then flip the switch for my candle and hope I see my little flicker. It’s pretty tough to spot my candle when 50 others are already lit.