My Biggest Complaint About Dropping Stink Bombs At Work

It may be impossible to keep this complaint and the comments that will surely follow clean and within the rules, but at least I thought about it.

My biggest complaint about dropping stink bombs at work is that most of the people seem to use the work bathroom to do their dirtiest, stinkiest bowel movements. Sometimes the resultant air strike of odor can overpower even that stinky bit of leftovers someone cooked in the microwave.

It almost seems like my co workers have trained their bowels in such a way that they are able to time their movements to occur during work hours only. My co-workers can’t possibly be dropping dumps like this at home.

Case in point: let’s just call him Mr. Powerhaus for now. Mr. Powerhaus religiously heads down the hallway at the same time everyday and we all know what’s going on. Mr. Powerhaus is in a seemingly healthy bowel routine, trust me, this guy is never constipated. But why does Mr. Powerhaus have to release the hostages at work everyday at 9:45 AM? Can’t Mr. Powerhaus train himself to go a little earlier at home or a little later in the day when he gets home?

Yes, Mr. Powerhaus could do that if he wanted to. I’m betting Mrs. Powerhaus and the Powerhaus kids would be screaming and kicking just like all of us here at work, but it could be done. People are bitching and moaning about greenhouse gases on a global level and I’m sitting here choking to death at my desk!

The fact is, I think people at my work are saving their packages for delivery at work. Taking 10 minutes out for a bowel movement is extra break time for most people and the management can’t instigate a “crap break” or “no crap break rule”. Their hands are tied.

I’d like to think this could just be a “If you can’t beat them, join them” thing, but I can’t even get in the bathroom to try because the smell is just so horrid.