I know it seemed like a good idea when you got married. I know you believed all that “for better or for worse” drivel. I know your really thought you were going to be with that one person forever.
The reality of it is that about 50% of the time your are not, so before you go doing something stupid like changing your name when you get married, just stop. Stop and don’t. Changing your name is a pain in the butt. Hundreds of forms, red tape, annoyances, money. Everything important in your life is on a form somewhere. You will hate it. Then when your marriage doesn’t work out, you’ll have to do all of it over again at a time when you are probably the most miserable.
Nevertheless, this complaint isn’t written in the spirit of helping you. I mean, you got married and it didn’t work out. It’s not our fault, right? Yet we are the ones who have to try to keep track of what exactly we are supposed to call you. Some people get married and divorced so fast that I barely have a chance to change my address books.
Instead why don’t you consider this. Get married but don’t change your name until you see if the marriage is actually going to take hold. Give it 5 or 10 years, then if it seems right, go for it. Clearly this isn’t a perfect system, but at least it will save everybody a lot of hassle.
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Honestly, I dont agree at all with this posting. Because the fact is, its best to be sure…BEFORE you get married. The reason why there are so many divorces is because a lot of people in this day and time get married for the wrong reasons and are NOT 100% sure in their heart that is what they should do. I have talked to plenty of people like this. Its not the NAME change that makes the difference…I certainly am not gonna change my name or not change my name due to it being a “hassle” to everybody else to keep up with it. Its the marriage itself that makes the difference. Instead of giving the advice “why don’t you wait 5 or 10 years to make sure its right,” why dont you advise people to be wiser in picking their mate and staying in longer lasting marriages. The name change is a minor part of the deal. I don’t think it’s wise to go into a marriage with the attitude of “Let me make sure our marriage is going to work first” because that’s an indication that your still not sure. And if you are not sure, you shouldn’t get married. Period. You say getting a name change is stupid? No, getting married to someone with a skeptical mindset would be stupid. Its like dooming the marriage before it even begins.
Shawnee on August 23rd, 2008 at 4:46 pm | Link