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My Biggest Complaint About Cellulite

When I’m ogling a hot rare sports car and notice a huge scratch in the paint job, I make a certain facial expression impulsively. If you ever catch me making that face, you’ll be able to note the disappointment and the encroaching nausea. I make the same face when I see a hot chick suffering from a bad cellulite situation.

This really attractive woman at my job is always talking about how she stays in shape and so on. As far as I could tell, she was right. She looked great in her day to day work attire. I even saw her in those black spandex “f:)k me” pants and she was looking pretty hot in those too. Recently I caught her wearing some Daisy Duke shorts and the fantasy is OVER. Her thighs vibrated the way my rear-view mirror does when i have the bass turned up loud and I’m bumping some Hieroglyphics. The kind of vibrations that can only occur in a thigh crammed with cellulite.

Those wrinkly dimples shook me to the core and may have scarred me for life. The funny thing is that her flirtatious nature toward me (and all other guys my age in the office) is now completely ineffective. I can hardly consider her a sexual being anymore. Is this what it feels like to be an old man who can’t get it up anymore? I imagine an old man must feel satisfied at times that women no longer have any power over his body.

I suppose my biggest complaint about Cellulite is that it exists at all. It really serves to distinguish age and health of women but I can only imagine how many other hot women out there are hiding their dimpled thighs from me. If I find myself in too deep when I discover a chick has cellulite, will I react as similarly?

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  1. Unfortunately for you, 90% of women (even the skinny ones) have cellulite. It’s a situation you’re likely to encounter, so just get over it, we all can’t look as perfect as you.

  2. I am 25 and I weigh 115 pounds. I am not “hot” by any means but consider myself “attractive”. Despite my congratulations to you for using your freedom of speech opportunity, I am disgusted by your idea of what a woman should look like. I have cellulite, it happens, just like wrinkles or body odor. I commend you for having standards because alot of people don’t, but maybe you might consider having a heart because people like you make teenage girls vommit after every meal they eat so they don’t get cottage cheese thighs!

  3. I only date girls if I can see their ribs.

  4. Okay, so enjoy your Saturday nights with a magazine. Women are real people , healthy women have some fat,to protect a fetus if the mother couln’t eat for some reason . I really don’t know how old you are , but honestly your comments make you seem like a 13 or 14 year old. You need to stay away from the dating scene until you mature a little.

  5. ha, you’re all fatties.

  6. Unfortunately, it is true - most women have cellulite somewhere, even if they are slender and athletic.No woman has the perfect body. Even those without cellulite may have stretch marks (not just from being overweight: if a woman grows too fast during her teen years, she can get them), loose skin, a strange birth mark in a random place, one breast being bigger than the other, or a multitude of other very minor physical imperfections.

    Celebrities, models, and porn stars don’t appear to have cellulite because they live in the land of airbrushing, body wrapping, and plastic surgery. I’ve done modeling in the past and I have a photo shoot coming up - I can tell you right now that these models are no more perfect than the rest of us.

    PS: I don’t have cottage cheese thighs. I have a 1″ or so gap between the highest parts of my thighs, muscle definition, and I also have a very flat stomach BUT I still have a tad bit of cellulite around my belly button area. I’m not perfect, but I have been told that I look like the short-haired Alyssa Milano except with blue/green eyes and while I wouldn’t be arrogant enough to call myself HOT, I am definitely not ugly. Even if my body was 100% completely perfect, I would be disgusted to date someone who would be completely unattracted to a woman just because of some cellulite!

    I would accuse you of being a pig, but we all have our preferences… I could never date a fat person… and I guess you could never date a woman with cellulite (though in my opinion, asking for someone to simply not be overweight is a lot less shallow…)

  7. PPS: despite my disagreeing, I admire your guts. This site is all about voicing your innermost complaints and I have to admit that I chuckled a tad bit reading it. I’m not much for being politically correct, so anything out-of-the-box and un PC gets my kudos.

  8. even i have a little cellulite and im a size 6 chick that most guys with wekken at there knees when i walk by and the ones that have seen my naked have seen that i have a little bit of cellulite and stretch marks but none of them care some of them even say i have one of the best arses they have ever seen. iv been told by my boyfriend the omount of porn stars that have it but that is never shown in the world these days now that they have new technology you shouldnt feel any different about a chick just because she has a few imperfections.

  9. miss sexy, can you show some pics of you sexy size 6 imperfect body so we can be the judge?

  10. men are morons… you judgemental idiots probably have small packages and gotta make all the “hot” biatches that you think don’t have cellulite like you til they find out you have teeny weenies! Jeez, Paris Hilton has cellulite, do you not like her anymore. Photo editing is awesome and you men are stupid

  11. Ok listen up. Alot of people have cellulite it can’t be helped even the skinny girls, so you need to stop being so immature about it. Not everyone can be as ‘perfect’ as you. And you shouldn’t even judge people on their appearances.

  12. LMAOOOOOOOOO Wow…Cellulite? First of all, I REALLY hope you have a body like L.L. Cool J while your sitting here on this posting sharing your disgust with cellulite…LOL. Ladies, ever noticed that its always the LAMEST, NOT HOT guys that try to have the “highest” so-called standards? Kind of like Shallow Hal….LMAO….if a woman with cellulite isn’t attractive to you and so many women seem to have it, have you considered maybe…umm..a blow up doll? LOL

  13. ok so i am a good looking girl and im sure i have a little and i dont think you should not date someone if she has some, but i will agree that if you have cottage cheese legs then you should not be wearing daisy dukes showing it off no one wants to see it and we really should not have too its like a big fat girl in a tiny tube top its just not right..

  14. Cellulite is genetic as curly hair. Except 90% of women have cellulite even if they’re athletic and slim. Maybe 15% percent of women have curly hair. That’s a guess though. If it’s hot out and you want to wear shorts then wear shorts. Exercise, eat healthful foods, be free and don’t let others dictate their unrealistic standards of beauty on you. You do your best. People as shallow and infantile as the one above are few and far between.

  15. I’m 12 years old, and I have cellulite…
    Mostly because of my Mother.
    Heredity is another big part of it. Just because you have cellulite it DOES NOT indicate you are fat.
    When my mom was around 24 years old, she was very athletic and weighed about 95 pounds and she had it!
    I just think guys are getting a bit pushy when it comes to girl’s bodies.
    It’s so normal.
    Just chill.
    No girls body is perfect, just deal with it.

  16. The 12 year old seems to be the most sensible person here.

  17. No Wonder Millions of girls have eating Disorders. Its becuz of guys like u tht r so shallow..Most women cannot control if they have cellulite or not. My Mom is a swimmer, she has cellulite, my Oldest Sister, is a Cheerleader, Gymnast and Runner, she even has cellulite on the back of her upper thighs..Its L.I.F.E. and u shudnt judge a woman on it. Like u said, u were attracted to her b4 the cellulite, whts the big deal? like all the other people said, almost ALL women have it. so…Goood luck finding a girlll..and i feel bad for that girl , because she has such a shallow close minded bf :/

  18. What a judgemental jerk.

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  21. I read your rant on cellulite and I’m willing to bet your a white guy, right? yeah I’m right! I’ve listened to soooooooo many white guys bitch and moan about anything that doesn’t fit their narrow world of perfection. I’m a 50 year old black male that can get along with anybody, but I’ve noticed a clear pattern in many white guys that’s really laughable, the constant running down of any woman weighing more than 120 lbs. Listen if you love your girlfriend, wife, mistress to look like a teenage boy more power to you. But black and hispanic men typically like our women to look feminine, you know, the opposite of men a woman with curves, hips, butt, breast and yes cellulite too. Listen I’m not running you down because you perfer boney, boylike, petite women, enjoy but stop this non sense thinking your narrow media brainwashed ideas on femininity should be universal. Thats why more white women are dating black men, their sick and tired of being put down by their own race for looking like a real woman

  22. A friend recommended that I try this Dr Max Powers brand Stretch Mark Treatment for my cellulite! I’ve heard of Dr. Max Powers brand, but I didnt know it was for ladies as well!!

    Her friend was using it and was pleased with the results. I bought online - that was 3 months ago and 3 jars ago - and I will continue to use this product - I have seen results - it is not a miracle cream - you are not going to instantly have baby behind smooth skin BUT it does help.

    I am a mom of 3 and have a bunch of cellulite - that I hate and makes me feel very self-conscious - THIS product gives me hope (along with exercise of course) but I have seen it working over time. I don’t think I will give it up anytime soon :) it’s a “for me” product that I don’t mind splurging on -

    I use it right after the shower as I’m getting ready every day!

  23. It’s so ridiculous how white men have conned their women into thinking celulite is such a horrible sin!! until white women wake up and stop being brainwashed into looking like a size 2 they will forever be miserable. white guys don’t stress out when they get FAT- BALDING- HAIRY and gross,

  24. Oh poor you. Try being the one who has the cellulite and feels like rubbish everytime she looks in the mirror, no thanks to people like you.

  25. @Elisa if you feel like trash every time you look in the mirror, I suggest you get theory and really work on you’re low self esteem.

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  28. No, unfortunately the person who started this topic must be erasing the post that exposes his stupidity! theres quite a few post that have magically, mystically VANISHED!!, typical whining white guy I bet.

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