No joke. I’m sick. Saturday morning, woke up with a sore throat.
Later that day, at work my nose just began to run like crazy. I left work only about 20 minutes early.
Sunday morning I called in sick. I hate to call in sick. Not because I dislike staying at home. I’d love to skip work and stay at home. I hate to call in sick because the person on the other end of the line is suddenly a polygraph machine who is absolutely certain that I’m lying.
I don’t feel like dealing with this obnoxious nay-sayer. I’m sick, I know I’m sick because the front of my shirt has a spray of mucus on it. I know I’m sick because I can’t breathe out of my nose. I know I’m sick because I didn’t have morning wood.
You, you do not know if I’m sick. You do not know anything.
That’s why I’m calling you, to tell you what the deal is. Accept my sick-call and enjoy your eight hours of healthy work. Do not make my sick morning any more stressful than it has to be.
Today is Monday. I called in sick again today just to spite Bossman.
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This is when you should hit on those hot chicks from work.
From my experience, chicks (hot and not so hot) do not find mucus and phlegm sexy.
We are nurturers. We like vulnerability, too.
Snot and vomit cut away at the outer layers and reveal the vulnerable man underneath.
Nude Ann, I think that’s a useful tidbit for after I get the girl. I don’t think you’ll find girls falling for guys while they’re vomiting and sneezing large green wads of gooey mucus on a girl’s new shoes. Once she knows that I’m a man worth keeping, then she’ll want to take care of me when I’m feeling ill.
What’s a morning wood?..lol..jk..i just wanted to get a answer..lol
Terrence on February 28th, 2008 at 8:36 am | Link
I hate calling in sick, too! What I really hate is the same people who bitch about other people calling in will come to work on their death bed because they’re too stupid to call in and they then spread it to everyone in the room. And they’re the type that have hundreds of vacation hours at their disposal, too! God, I really hate my job.
I wish they’d know when you’re dead lie down!
Louba on September 6th, 2008 at 12:18 pm | Link