Capitol Hill where I live is a wonderful part of Seattle, two weekends ago I was told I was mean by an aggressive black gay man.
Last weekend I was hounded by a lady passing out HIV vaccine test trial cards. I was looking at a wall of flyers for bands and shows and other oddities when the lady comes up and says something I didn’t quite catch as my mind was elsewhere, all I heard was “HIV”.
I mumbled something like “huh” or “what” and somehow offended her and she raised her voice and said “what do you mean you don’t care?” She gave me a little card, like a business card, with a number to call, and she pressed me to sign up.
I read the card, and I don’t think in the overall scheme of things it makes a difference, but the card explicitly said it was looking for healthy men between 20-45 with a steady partner.
Once again, I’m presumed to be gay. Needless to say I said I’ll think about it and walked away, and she muttered something I didn’t hear.
This past weekend I was strolling along when two older gentlemen standing by a table set up in front of the bookstore asked me if I was going to camp. I said no. They asked if I had heard of camp, a Labor Day weekend retreat where they provide transportation, meals, lodging, etc. They gave me a card, I quickly read it, it was for www.qcamp.org or queer camp (they actually suggest you bring nail polish). Again, they seemed surprised I didn’t sign up.
My biggest complaint about being presumed to be gay is that I don’t know what I’m doing that is sending out so much gayness.
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By any chance, do you look gay?
You seem to be handling it pretty well. Various people I’ve met have presumed I was gay. How you handle it, I feel, really says a lot about how confident you are. That sort of confidence will make everyone like you, gay men and straight women alike. If a gay man is taking time out to flirt with you or invite you to a gay outing, consider it a compliment. Gay men, being men, tend to be more aggressive and forth coming with compliments than most women I know who are too shy to say those things. Being presumed gay could mean you’re doing something that you don’t want to do, but it could also mean that you are in good shape, dressed well, or just plain attractive.
Can we organize a life swap with you and a friend of mine who is always being confused as being straight? He is never getting laid as gay men think he may hit them if they hit on him but gets loads of nice offers from ladies which are as much use to him as qcamp is to you.
I think I can broker this deal if you are interested
Hang in there CJ, and stop wearing A&Fitch tee shirts to help everything get back to ‘normal’
ps - we love you for not saying to any of them “F%&k Off! I’m not a fag!”. If there is justice in the universe you will shortly be rewarded with a very naughty night with a girl of your dreams.
I just have one question for you, cj - are you circumsized?
Dear f**k, I hate it when people assume I’m a lesbian. It pisses me off. I mean, I absolutely love the gay community, and I even live near Capitol Hill, which is one of the places I like the most. I protect them with all my might, but it still upsets me when people assume these things. I don’t think people should assume if people are straight nor gay. It’s just like a person assuming someone is religious.
Well I have it all the time too. I am a well kept straight man and am very softly spoken, because I enjoy the limelight, people think that i am gay but I am not. I used to hang with a guy who was married and then he just came out to be gay and I didnt have the foggyest. He unfortunately had an incident at his swimming pool which left a young man dead though and he had to flea to New Zealand. Such a shame. Any way, I compat this by just going with the flow. I went to a bar which I thought would be great to get some girls and it turned out to be a gay bar, I just did popeprs, took some pills and went with the flow. It has been great since, no one even speaks to me about being gay anymore since I lost all this weight and have weird legions on my body. Just be free
Dale Winton on August 17th, 2010 at 8:53 am | Link