You may be shocked that I, of all people, would ask you to please stay at home when you truly are sick. Some of you may think I would demand you work for your pittance of a wage even when you are deathly ill.
Truth be told, it’s all about productivity. If you’re sick, go home. […]
Believe it or not, I’m not on a rampage against holidays this month, but I can’t stand Boss Day either.
It really is pitiful when you folks get together on your own and plan to get me a gift. I’m sure you didn’t hatch the plan off the clock, but that’s not my biggest complaint about […]
Of course you have to come work today.
There is no holiday stuck in holiday limbo quit like Columbus Day. There is no rhyme or reason as to what business will be open or what business will be closed. And the idea of a “Columbus Day Sale”? Seriously, are you that happy about Europeans discovering that […]
Firing people is not fun. Not even for me.
My biggest complaint about firing people is that most of you who get fired don’t realize it’s a good thing.
I’m not talking about being “laid off”, of course that’s not a good thing. That means there isn’t any work. No work is not good. Getting fired is […]
Each morning on my way to work, my limo passes this guy who looks disheveled, unbathed and ragged out. He parks his shiny mountain bike that’s better than mine in the median of the road. He ties his equally ragged out, under-fed dog to the bike and puts some water in a dish nearby for […]
Guess who’s not getting a job here?
Sure, there is a time for rebellion. You’re young. Grow your hair long, shave it off. I don’t care. Puncture that beautiful mug, get a tatto across your forehead that says “Whore”. It’s your life, screw it up.
But don’t think for a second I have to employ you when […]
Just don’t.
I know you’ve thought it through, but it’s not a good idea. Don’t ask me for a raise just because you think I’m in a good mood. Like most things around here, it’s actually the opposite of what you think.
If I’m in a good mood, there’s one sure fire way to ruin it.
Asking me […]
I’ve made my money by making sure every customer and client feels like I really care about them. Sometimes I don’t, but that’s not the point.
One sure fire way to make a customer feel like you don’t care about them is to ignore the people standing in front of you in your store or business […]
Ah yes, your old job. You did it how? A better way you say? A different way than we do it here?
Thank you. Now go to back to your old job.
Few things show immaturity in a professional setting like referring to the way things were done at an old job of yours. I’m sure your […]
Mondays. Always Mondays. Like clockwork. Mondays.
You never call in sick on Friday. Why waste a sick day for Friday? When you get right down to it, it doesn’t make much sense to stay home on Friday even if you really are sick. Friday is just one day away from the weekend. Just come to work […]
Yes, things would run much better if we took "holiday" like the euros do. We should do a lot of things those masters of industry the euros do. Nothing goes with massive unemployment rates quite like a nice long "holiday". Except maybe sub-standard socialized medicine and/or 51% tax rates. Oh, and those cute little transportation worker strikes that grind entire countries to a halt over government funded pension plans are cool, too. I encourage long "holidays" here. The only thing is I do not provide direct deposit of paychecks and I won't release paychecks to anyone besides the employee... security reasons, I'm sure everyone understands. So take your holiday. But if you want your check, you better be here to get it. Since instituting this policy, amazingly enough virtually across the board vacations are now taken in week or less blocks. I bet the euros have direct deposit.
On Vacations at 2007-10-23 04:29:08
@Mark, I'm very compassionate. DBlock, my friend and future director of personnel, is the one that called me a "cigar smoking prick". I never make things miserable for people who work for me. Working for me is so good people should pay me to work here. I consider not getting along with others at work part of any job description. If you can't do that, you're a combo firing. Refer to #1 and #3 above - "you did something wrong" and "you're terrible at what you did".
On Firing People at 2007-10-01 20:24:02
Yes, DBlock, I rock. I am a force of nature, like fire in a forest.
On Firing People at 2007-10-01 16:06:13
It's just this simple, DBlock - you get it. They don't. I've seen this in your other posts here, too. You get it and it sounds like Zack and Cody and everybody else leading the suite life back at the Tipton gets it too. You guys were probably hired because you have something remotely resembling people skills. The poor souls at the Olympia Cafe have no clue. They probably never will. It's a very depressing thing really when you realize that unless those folks at the choke n' puke win the lottery, they've peaked.
On Unhelpful People In Service Positions at 2007-09-25 19:29:41
@DBlock, that just shows you think things through and have a unique ability to make good choices. Important qualifications we look for in all applicants. The new design looks great, looking forward to it.
On The Old Design Of My Biggest Complaint at 2007-09-20 21:22:00
@DBlock, you're freaking me out. It's like you're inside my head or something.
On People Who Say "It's Lonely At The Top" at 2007-09-14 02:09:58
@Dblock, I'm starting to think you would fit well over in human resources.
On Employees With Facial Piercings at 2007-09-06 03:03:43
@DBlock, if I hadn't already made you my friend, I would make you my friend again. You are very close. Very close to getting a job, that is. My offer still stands. Depending on how many fingers you have left, I might be able to fit you into a management position.
On Asking Me For A Raise When I'm In A Good Mood at 2007-08-26 00:59:55
Sticking up for the boss. This I like. I like this so much, not only did I vote for this and make you a friend of mine you cute little scary-ass kitty, but I am going to print this out and circulate it as tomorrow's must read memo for the entire office. I am also instructing the IT department to set this very page as the homepage for the browsers on the workstations the temp employees use. You also get major points as far as I'm concerned for resurrecting the word "nincompoop". From here on out, ungrateful temps = nincompoops.
On Temp/Contract Employees Who Complain About "The Boss" at 2007-08-08 01:14:09
@DBlock, I need more people like you. Thinkers, doers, occupational sufferers. You're hired. You start on Monday.
On You Calling In Sick On Mondays at 2007-07-17 01:41:06
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